Greg Puchulski use to call me "All State". I believe this was his subtle way of telling me I only made the football team in high school because my Dad was the teacher/coach and not because I had "good hands". There's nothing quite like the sophisticated wit of the Oshawa bully.
Now Greg may have had a point. I did weigh 117 lbs in grade nine and I did drop my fair share of balls but no more so than all the other grade nines who made the team. I think what made Greg's insights so helpful was the fact that it was my first introduction to the idea that when you are the kid of a teacher or a teacher with kids, there is no absolute truth.
You make the team because of your Dad; you get a good grade because of Mom. Your child is singled out because "teacher kids should be better". Your child is victimized because they are perceived to have some inside track. Of course, none of this is true or helpful. It's just hurtful and it remains hurtful 40 years later.
Thanks Greg.
Having a teacher in the family does have advantages greater than shared holidays. It is true that you can be part of your child's life in a more intimate way and it is true again that you have the opportunity to understand their lives a little bit more than parents in other walks of life. I have been able to know my children's friends far more than many parents. I've been able to share some of their great triumphs and some of their worst defeats because I've been on the court with them when they've happened.
But the bruises that this intimacy inflicts are deep. There is no doubt that I have been harder on my own children in games and in school than on any of yours. Too often lines got blurred and it can be very difficult for both child and parent to separate the roles of coach and father. Worse, it can be very difficult for the children of teachers to see their accomplishments as purely a result of their hard work.
On this Thanksgiving weekend, I am thankful for my kids and I am thankful for you and yours as well.
Your kids have forced me to remain active and engaged and many of them have given their all to me on the basketball court. Your kids have made me laugh almost everyday and they have kept me awake some nights (not so thankful for that). Your kids have pushed me to be better and have challenged my thinking and enriched me.
I'm thankful for you because you've done a great job with them and you've been patient and understanding with me and my colleagues.
I am thankful for my kids for all of the reasons you might expect but for this writing, I am thankful for them because they made me a better teacher for your kids. If you had told me that years ago, before I had them, I would have been rightly offended. Some of you reading this might say " you don't have to have kids to be a good teacher." You are right but just like my making the football team, it's not the complete truth. My kids have shown me how even the smallest thing a teacher does can be a very big thing and before I had them, I really didn't appreciate this fully.
We have a conversation in our house where my wife and I mitigate the role of the teacher because we want our kids to be responsible for their own success and those kids of ours, well, they counter that argument pretty well (got those logical minds from their Mom). They argue that the teacher makes all the difference.
Like everything the truth lies somewhere between. But without them I wouldn't fully understand just how important a teacher is. I'm thankful for that.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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