System Memo: Prayer Centers

System Memo #3666-04a

To:  All  Catholic Teachers

From:  Superintendent  Mr. O. Dei, Prayer Headquarters (PHQ) 

CC.: OECTA, Kathleen Wynne, Public Tax Payer

Subject:  Prayer Centers

Rationale:

It has recently come to the attention of Prayer Headquarters (PHQ) that students and teachers require a public place to pray during class.  I know we have chapels in every one of our secondary schools but apparently prayer is a big thing in the school boards around us so we want to jump on that bandwagon. Heck, in some of those boards students pray up to five times a day and we don't see why our kids can't put in that kind of effort. 

Now, we know kids here at Prayer Headquarters (PHQ) and we know that teenagers being teenagers, they just feel comfortable praying in front of their classes.  Why if a kid wants to jump up and rattle off a Decat of the Rosary or throw down a few Acts of Contrition, who are we to stop 'em?  We just want to help the youth of the day and increase our prayer quota because let's face it, it shows we are different from those other boards and a fair bit of funding is riding on that.  So please find your new prayer center installed in your classroom.  

Installation and Equipment:

We've installed a prayer center in every one of our classrooms in every one of our fifteen secondary schools at head level.  Please read the concussion protocol memo that will follow.  

Please take a moment to examine the prayer center and ensure it has the following:

1)  Lack IKEA floating shelf installed

2)  A sealed Bible

3)  A Rosary

4)  A Crucifix

5)  A picture of the Pope

6)  A picture of Mother Teresa

7)  A picture of the shroud of Turin

8)  A finger of an 8th century saint

9)  Air freshener

10)  Holy Water

11)  A prayer of the Day

12)  A picture of Notre Dame's football team

13)  Gold, Incense and Myrrh

14)  A Bell

15)  A picture of Bill Davis and Cardinal Carter smoking cigars

Finally, please ensure that students have a clear path to the prayer center so that they can jump up and rattle one off at a moment's notice. Maybe during that test you are giving or maybe when you have gone on too long with the lesson they could just pop on over to the prayer center and pray for deliverance.  Just let them jump right up and pound one out.

Thanks so much for your care and attention to this matter.  We look forward to the roll out of our live Crucifixion event in the Cafeteria in April. Please forward any names of students or teachers you want to participate in the event.

Yours in Prayer,

O. Dei

Superintendent of Prayer Headquarters (PHQ)